Thursday, May 10, 2012

Calling BS on what he can't do

How can it be nearly 8pm ... can anyone tell me? After this day (hell after this entire week so far), I am breaking out ...

the face

Nope. Wait. That noise? I hear a kid crying his eyes out down the hall.  And my husband isn't home.  Now I think I feel like this.


That's the one.  Right there.  That's how I feel. 

Someone needs to bring me a giant bottle of wine STAT!

I have been two steps behind all week and today was going to be the glorious day that I would catch up.  It would start with dropping the boys at school, hitting the gym and then coming home and just writing

You know that didn't happen.

While the Big Guy was finally feeling well enough to get back to school this morning, the Bunny Bee had temporarily fallen ill shall we say.  As in 100% fine by lunch... but he was a sweaty crying mess this morning and I was not taking any chances.  We dropped the other two off at school and he sat with me on the couch while I started with Buy-Her. 

Then came the phone call.  We were on a cancellation list for the Big Guy's neurologist to talk about Botox and they could see us today at 2pm - verses the first week of August.  I was taking it.  Picked the boys up from school, dropped lunch in front of them and took a Rescuehood conference call that I could only make an hour of.  After that hour I scrambled to get the kids ready and out the door in under 15 minutes (which is huge) and off we went.  Dropped off the twins at Al's office and took the Big Guy to the neurologist office.

Trying to pull in the lot a minivan was backing out AT me and there was another truck behind me.  I honked the horn in fear she was going to hit me and she proceeded to curse me out.  I think.  I couldn't hear her, but I could sure SEE her.  She was furious as she tried to maneuver into her handicapped spot and didn't stop gesturing at me.  We get into the office and its that awkward moment where I realize she's not only in the same waiting room but its so packed I have to sit next to her.  This woman is staring me down and it kind of started to feel like I was being talked about, in another language of course.

And then? We waited for TWO HOURS.

OK so it was more like an hour an a half before we were seen but it was an entire two hours after our appointment time (which we showed up early for of course) before we were leaving.  Good news is we all agree we are in no rush to Botox his muscles just yet and we will revisit it in the fall.  I did leave feeling like this crazy parent.  I swear to you the doctor (who I love) was ready to say we should botox before the summer when the Big Guy launched into his tirade.  It's not fair.  I don't like this.  I can make my own decisions.  I'm not doing this for the rest of my life.  I'm FINE!

As I tried to explain what was happening, she kind of took over and listened to him which was great but then nodded at me and said something about how of course he thinks he's fine, he IS fine. 

I wanted to scream.

Yes he is fine.  He's great.  This is mild on the scheme of things.  I tried to explain that he doesn't always feel that way, sometimes he feels quite the opposite.  This isn't me telling him he isn't fine, that there is something wrong with him.  And he's having such a hard time learning to swim, would the Botox help with that?

She basically said that he may never be a good swimmer, or be able to be on a competitive level and that we would just need to work on getting him "to be safe in the water".  Bullshit I wanted to yell.  I don't care what I need to do, this kid is going to be breaking records on a swim team one day.

OK, so maybe that's not realistic.  Deep down inside I fear he will never learn to swim.  And not once yet have we ever been told he might not be capable of doing something.  It kind of scared the hell out of me.  All I ever tell him is that he can do anything.  He may have to work harder, but there is nothing... not one single thing he can't do.

Does that make me one of those pushy moms?

I don't know.  I do know that I am fine with waiting till the fall because I think the colder weather is when he needs the Botox the most.  I didn't however, like how it went down... with my 6 year old trying to take charge.

After that we picked up the twins from Al's office and by the time we got home I was making dinner.  I am on day 2 of My Fitness Pal trying to stick with 1,200 calories a day and it's making me super cranky as I try and get myself caught up on everything I have fallen behind on.  Like the Chobani post from when the boys got to go to Boston nearly 2 weeks ago... and the Music on the Hill giveaway that still needs to be posted.

Tomorrow...tomorrow... maybe tomorrow I will have 3 kids back in school for just two glorious hours.  Who cares that its Friday, right?  In the meantime, who is sending me that wine.


  1. There is nothing he can't do. That's not pushy mom, that's just mom. He needs to believe that or he will give up when things are hard.

  2. love you megan. thanks for that.

  3. First, I agree with Megan. You aren't a pushy mom at all.

    Second, you should get a Fitbit. It is a little thing you wear basically 24/7 that counts steps, calories burned, etc. You can sync it up with your My Fitness Pal account and your calories will adjust based on your activity level. I have been using it for a week and discovered that I was basically starving myself eating only the 1480 calories I'm "allowed" per day. It has been a huge help!