Wednesday, November 10, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today

The reason you believe you're still alive today.

This topic I struggle with. Because I don't know that I know just what the reason is. And I worry I am wasting my time on this earth Wondering what it is I should be doing, instead of Doing what it is I was meant to do.

I was 4, or 5 (in pre school). Just about the same age the Big Guy is now. I got really sick. I almost died. I remember small bits and pieces. Complaining my throat hurt, throwing up the snack my dad had given me. Our neighbor Kathy rushing my mom & I to the hospital so my dad could stay with my younger sister and brother. The lights on the ceiling at the hospital. Crying for my mom as we raced down the hallway. The start of being put under.

And after? Tubes down my nose and throat. Sharing a room with a little boy who cried all.the.freaking.time. It was maybe a week before I was able to go home I think. The only thing I remember about coming home was my sister crashing into me to give me a hug.

It was Epiglottitis. Which according to Wikipedia is an "inflammation of the epiglottis - the flap that sits at the base of the tongue, which keeps food from going into the trachea (windpipe). Due to its place in the airway, swelling of this structure can interfere with breathing and constitutes a medical emergency. The infection can cause the epiglottis to either obstruct or completely close off the windpipe".

I have been told I was like 12 hours away from dying. And my whole entire childhood after that, whenever I went to the pediatrician, it was always the same. The doctor would often say 'Michele?' No, that was my aunt - we were only a few years apart. She must have taken out the charts of everyone in the family - every time. Then she would say my name... followed by 'the little girl who almost died'.

I shit you not.

My mom tried explaining it was because she was proud that she recognized what was wrong and sent us to the hospital where the staff was waiting.

Had the tubes not worked I would have needed a tracheotomy. Not that you come across it frequently, but whenever I see someone with a scar on their throat I am instanly reminded of just how lucky I am to be here - and not to have had to go through that. Season 4 of American Idol - Anthony Federov. He had one for a different reason but that whole season was a reminder to me to always be thankful.

There's more to the story, it nearly had a different ending. My dad didn't know just how sick I was - and really how could he have. My mom was working that day at a brand new job. She came home early because she was pregnant, and something was wrong.
That's the part they didn't tell me about until I was a teenager.
She came home, knew something wasn't right with me and called Kathy. Who was a nurse if I remember that right, and her husband's brother died of epiglottitis when he was younger. She recognized it, they confirmed with the pediatrician and everything turned out ok. Because here I am today. Except I have 2 siblings, not 3.

When I REALLY think about all of these things that had to happen the way they did, it freaks me out a little. I mean what were the odds?!

Ever since I was told the Whole story, there has been this little nagging voice in the back of my head. I don't hear it all the time. But sometimes I just can not help but wonder.

Why am I here? Is there something I am suposed to do?

I really believe that there is. And it's the reason why I am alive today. I wonder now that I have had children if it's about something that I am suposed to do myself... or is it something one of my boys will go on to do. And I needed to be here to have and raise him.

Sounds out there, I know... but something like that really makes you wonder about things. And while I KNOW there is a reason that I am still alive today, I am still trying to figure out just what that reason is.

3 comments:

  1. Coach Outlet http://www.coachoutletfactory-stores.us.com

    North Face Outlet http://www.northface-outlets.com.co

    Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadefactoryoutlet.in.net

    ED Hardy Outlet http://www.edhardypopsale.com

    Coach Outlet Store Online http://www.coachstoreonline.in.net

    Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletstore.in.net

    Cheap Jordans http://www.cheapjordansretro.us.com

    Coach Purses http://www.coachpurses.eu.com

    Coach Outlet http://www.coachoutlet2016.us.com

    Tory Burch Shoes http://www.toryburchoutlets.us.com

    Longchamp Outlet http://www.longchampoutlet.in.net

    Michael Kors Handbags http://www.innnov8.com

    Coach Outlet http://www.innnovate.com

    Red Bottom Shoes http://www.redbottomshoes.us.org

    Moncler Jackets http://www.monclerdownjackets.us.com

    North Face Outlet http://www.northfacestoreoutlet.in.net

    Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletstore.us.com

    Moncler Outlet http://www.moncleroutletonline.in.net

    Coach Factory http://www.maganates.com

    Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachfactorysoutlet.in.net

    Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadesoutlet.us.com

    Ray Ban Outlet http://www.raybanoutletstore.in.net

    Christian Louboutin Shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoes2016.in.net

    North Face Outlet http://www.northfaceoutlets.us.org

    Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachoutletstore.name

    Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletonline.name

    Coach Outlet http://www.coach-outlets.us.org

    Nike Roshe Run http://www.tanie-nikerosherun.pl

    Buty Nike Air Max http://www.airmaxsprzedazdla.pl

    Nike Air Max http://www.nikeairmax.us.org

    Red Bottom Shoes http://www.redbottomshoe.in.net

    Christian Louboutin Outlet http://www.christianlouboutinoutlet.us.org

    Balenciaga Handbags http://www.balenciagaoutlets.us.com

    Balenciaga Handbags http://www.balenciaga-handbags.us.com

    Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadefactoryoutlet.in.net

    Toms Shoes http://www.tomshoesoutlet.us.com

    Hermes Belt http://www.hermes-belts.us.com

    Prada Outlet http://www.pradafactoryoutlet.com

    Louis Vuitton Outlet http://www.louisvuittonsoutlet.us.com

    North Face Outlet Store http://www.northfaceoutletstore.in.net

    North Face Jackets http://www.north-face.in.net

    North Face http://www.north-faceoutlets.us.com

    Louis Vuitton Outlet http://www.louisvuitton-outlets.us.org

    Timberland Boots http://www.timberland-outlets.us.com

    Cheap Timberland Boots http://www.timberlandoutlet.us.com

    Tory Burch Outlet http://www.toryburch-outlets.us.com

    Ralph Lauren Outlet http://www.ralphlaurenstoreoutlet.us.com

    Gucci Shoes http://www.guccifactoryoutlet.name

    Gucci Outlet http://www.guccioutletco.us.com

    North Face Jackets http://www.northfacefactoryoutlet.us.com

    Prada Outlet http://www.pradaoutlets.in.net

    Hollister Clothing http://www.hollister-clothing.us.com

    Ferragamo Shoes http://www.ferragamoshoes.us.org

    Tiffany Outlet http://www.tiffany-outlets.us.com

    Tiffany Outlet http://www.tiffanyco-outlet.us.com

    NFL Jerseys http://www.nfljerseys.name

    Toms Outlet http://www.outlettoms.us.com

    Cheap Jordans http://www.cheapjordans.eu.com

    North Face Outlet http://www.thenorthfaceoutlet.us.org

    Prada Handbags http://www.pradaoutlet.us.org

    Chan Luu Sale http://www.chanluu.us.com

    Toms Outlet http://www.tomsoutletstores.us.com

    Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletofficial.us.com

    Beats By Dr Dre http://www.beatsbydrdre.us.org

    Coach Outlet http://www.coachstoreoutlet.us.org

    Christian Louboutin Shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoe.eu.com

    Valentino Shoes http://www.valentinoshoes.eu.com

    Michael Kors Outlet http://www.michaelkorsoutlet.us.org

    Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachfactoryoutlet.us.org

    Coach Outlet Online http://www.coachoutletonlinestore.us.org

    Coach Purses http://www.coachpurse.us.com

    ReplyDelete