Hear that sound?
Shh... can you hear it?
That would be my heart beating... and it feels like it's about to come out of my chest.
Sometimes I think it's interesting maybe? how life just ... happens. Friday morning I met Jules at the hospital while she took a test for her new job and sat with the girls in the cafeteria. Ran into a friend who had a baby girl that morning. A few hours later I found out another friend's grandfather had passed away. Saturday the boys went from the soccer field to a dear little friend's birthday party at a farm. Sunday we had lunch with the family and then attended a wake. Today the boys were back on track with school and Al was at work. Beginnings, endings and everything in between all rolled into one weekend.
I don't feel like I am back on track though. I am coming up to just a few days before a totally minor surgery I have to have (and care not to talk about at the same time). For weeks I have been able to pretty much put it out of my mind as if it wasn't going to happen. The last night I had to complete a half hour of paperwork for the surgery which included my religion and the name of my church.
And I have sort of been having an internal freak out ever since.
In the next three days I have mounds of laundry to do, an entire house that I never really end up cleaning to get clean, the regular day to day like school and meals and bath time for the kids... some work I need to get caught up on and several (several) posts I need to get written. And I have just three days to get it all done.
Did I mention I am finally hosting that Pinkberry event with Savor The Thyme this week too? That's Wednesday night. Very exciting! I told myself I would get so much done today but instead I spent the day on and off the couch with the boys just hanging out with them. While I needed it just as much as they did, it didn't help me check anything off of my massive list.
And tomorrow. All I can say is I feel like something big may be about to happen tomorrow... which maybe I can discuss another time (cryptic I know, sorry). Excited and not feeling well all at the same time. I want this so much it's crazy. And on top of it all I just put 3 boys back in bed at twenty of nine on a school night, one of whom was crying his eyes out.
After all this time I should be full on used to functioning in the chaos. I am. Usually. But right now, at this moment? I just want my heart to stop beating out of my chest and to feel like I have time to get it all done.