Friday, June 1, 2012

Rejections and struggling to find new beginnings

So wow it's been a rough couple of weeks (month)... who's counting.  Came off an amazing weekend complete with a wedding, thinking big things for the week... then I got sick and my laptop managed to crash.  Repeatedly.  All week.  Have I told y'all I kill laptops?  Like at the rate of one every two years.  Guess how long I have had this one.  Al worked on it last night so I am hoping it has bought me some more time and I can get back to blogging my butt off.

Yesterday my BlogHer roomie Jen and I waited all day in suspense to find out if we made the cut and got selected for Voices of the Year.  I knew I wanted this, but I don't think I realized how much until I was cut loose from that other thing last week.  Jen tweeted me when she got her rejection email and I waited the longest 10 minutes after that for mine to appear.  I held my breath as I read the rejection and just shook my head at Al.

I went into the bedroom and dissolved into a puddle of tears when Al came to talk to me.  So next year is your year then!  I shook my head and tried to explain why this had become so important.  So much more important... because after what happened last week I have been struggling to find what I do.  I didn't like what I was doing... I hadn't for a long time. 

I love writing.  I get paid for some of my writing, but not enough.  Getting selected would be a validation that I am doing the right thing, that I AM a good writer (even if my grammar style is all my own).  Without the other things I am just a mom of three small boys who can't seem to manage to even keep the house clean.  I mean yesterday my parents took the boys and I spent about seven hours doing laundry and cleaning out the boys drawers and closets... and that's all I got done.  An entire day of just that.  My house still looks like a bomb hit it.

Sometimes its hard to juggle it all - and to feel like you have an identity other than just Mom.  For so many years I felt like I never knew what I wanted to do... only over the last year or two did I really fall into this blogging/writing thing and realize that yes... THIS is what I should have been doing all along.  Since last week I have sent out resumes, applied for all things social media... and now I wait.  (Did I mention I am horrible at waiting?)

Al had a pretty awesome idea last night.  We might just start a social media business of our own - my own - with his help ... kicking it around, working on the details.  Nothing is set in stone but I have to say I am seriously considering it. 

Today is a new day. 

Time to make it all work.


  1. Laundry and organizing drawers takes WAY longer than you think it should. I had a 3 day weekedn last week and was sure my house would sparkle by the end. The only things that got finished were the switch out of my daughters furniture for big girl stuff, laundry and swapping out summer clothes. I have yet to organize the stuff I took out! Don't be so hard on yourself. This being a mom and having an identity of our own stuff is hard work. We'll probably have it figured out by the time they leave for college. ;)

  2. LOL Collge huh? I have a feeling you are right about that. :) Thanks Kameron! xoxo

  3. Don't be too hard on yourself. Things happen in threes is what they say right? And, its Friday so let the weekend begin!

  4. yaay for the weekend! :)