October ups and downs

This last week has been so ... emotional. I have hated this week of October for more years than I care to count now. While the boys and I always look forward to the feast on the hill and the Columbus Day Parade, it still gets mixed up in the loss I can't help but associate that weekend with.

I felt a mess all week, but it took me a few days to figure out why. I felt - and still feel - so much guilt for not going to the cemetery this year. Why did I not go.

There were just so many ups and downs this week. The house showing that (again) didn't pan out was a definite down, as were some issues with school. I didn't work out at all - no runs, no fit squad. It seemed like each time I made a plan to do something, something else came up and I had no control.

But mixed in everywhere with all the things that made me sad or went wrong, were so many good things as well. Like getting to spend a few days watching my sweet little friend Belle.

The trailer coming out. Jumping up and down outside of gymnastics practice as Al and I watched on the iPad. The Bunny Bee. That line. Oh my gosh, that line. The boys getting to see it.

Watching Twitter explode.

Watching the boys at wrestling practice on Friday. Look closely at that pic. In the window and the doorway? All of the parents crowded around cheering and loving every second, as we realized how far all the boys have come in just a few short months.

Discussing the upcoming tournaments.

Celebrating my niece's 1st birthday!

Right now I am trying to remember to be thankful for each and every day, no matter how overwhelming things sometimes seem. While I will never forget the angel babies our family lost no matter how many years go by - we got to celebrate this sweetheart right here.

And in another month and a half?

We will welcome her little brother.