Getting unstuck

Ever feel like you are stuck right where you are - while also being pulled in several different directions? I'm being pulled, but my feet are still planted. I think that's how things are right now. I feel like I have been composing this very post in my head for what seems like days now. But I can't make all the words come out right.

Things with the dog? I know you know how that is turning out. I guess that's a blog post for another day because right now I just can't.

Last week brought some serious changes. In addition to leaving some things behind, there were new things we started as well. We buckled down and started seriously looking at new areas. Houses, neighborhoods, schools and more.

And I have done so much ... soul searching I guess. This house that we live in? Has never really ever felt like home. Just the place that we lived. Our first apartment? That felt like home. An entirely too tiny one, but it was home. Moving into this one over 10 years ago, I told myself that it would feel like home over time. In what seemed like the blink of an eye it went from too much space for the two of us, to crazy small for the five of us. I realize that we spent so many years talking about moving on, having one foot out the door ... I mean our first child wasn't even supposed to go to Kindergarten where we are (by original plans) ... how could it ever have felt like more than just the place that we live?

The last year and a half has been a constant roller coaster when it comes to trying to sell this house and move on to where we want to be. We never imagined we would still be here now, still trying to work it all out. My mantra for over the last year has been hold the vision trust the process. No matter how hard it has been, how much I started to doubt it, I held on to that. I said it to myself all the time. I packed up part of the house, took all the photos from the walls ... surely something would come.

Last week I thought I found what we were looking for. And it couldn't have been at a better time with less than 2 weeks till the start of school for the kids. For 3 days we went back and forth with someone who misrepresented who they were. I knew something wasn't adding up but I wanted it to work ... only to find out it was all a scam. I am so thankful I knew better than to give out certain information - or send money - but I was so mad that I wasted my time. And that someone would do such a thing.

Our relator is getting a list put together for us of places we can start checking out tomorrow. To rent instead of buy - so we can take more time and figure out what it is that we really want. Because everywhere we really want doesn't seem to be available right now.

I'm trying hard to go with the flow, see where things take us ... but I think we all know I'm not really a go with the flow gal. I'm a planner and I will plan that ish to death. (Ask my husband who I am currently driving crazy.) The up in the air stuff is really hard for me. I'm taking today to just ... do nothing. Do what I have to do, but house wise, nothing. Tomorrow I will wake up and it will be on. Pulling out the boxes and going room to room.

Getting rid of what we don't need, boxing anything that I can. With all the things I have let go of in the process, how can there Still be so much stuff left. Endless.

If there really is something to this whole manifesting/visioning thing ... now is the time it all needs to come together.

Muddy dogs and clean floors don't mix

Crazy last few days, as usual. I shouldn't even call them crazy - because crazy is really my normal.

I pulled something in my shoulder side planking (don't ask), so I had to sit out Fit Squad on Friday. I told myself I would still get in my C25K run ... but I didn't. Instead I moped about my sore shoulder, missing Fit Squad, and stressing over cleaning the house for the weekend's showing.

Al and I cleaned the entire day on Saturday, stopping only to take the boys to Ella's birthday party. By the time we went to bed last night, the house was pristine. All we had to do in the morning was get the kids out early to avoid any new messes.

Overnight? Monsoon rain.

Because of course.

You know what I'm going to say next. That giant puppy we have? He needed to go out. Dug a few holes, wanted to come in... a drenched, muddy mess. And we were off and running to clean the dog, fill the holes, sweep and mop all over again inside. I won't even tell you about that thing that we had to break out the paint for. Disaster of a morning.

I could not believe we pulled it all together in time, but we did.

Disappointing to hear that only two people showed up to the open house today (after all the chaos this morning), but like Laura said, it only takes one person to want to buy our house. Fingers crossed one of those people came by today.

Holding the vision

Here we go. Dusting off the old blog.

I'm kind of sad how few and far between I seem to be posting, but on the flip side to that boy have we ever been busy. And by we I mean me. Of course. Summer ended, the boys went back to school for just a few days and then the Doodle Bop got sick for an entire week.

Say it with me.

Because of course.

Damn those school germs.

And in the middle of all that, I have spent the last two - maybe three - weeks prepping the house. It consumes my all day every day and I just can not believe what Al and I have accumulated in our almost 10 years here, plus the one before that when we lived in an apartment. Letters from our Pre-Cana classes I forgot we even had. Old photos. Lots and lots of ... I'm saying it ... junk.

We filled an entire Bagster and it is now waiting outside for pickup. Countless bags of trash and recycling went out this week. I actually worried they wouldn't take it all, but they did. Nine bags of clothing donated to the Big Brothers Big Sisters.

This morning? First showing of the house. Someone called on it less than 24 hours after we put it on the market and requested a showing this morning. I thought it was a sign. We have a house in another town we have fallen in love with and are seeing if we can work out the details. I thought someone calling so fast was a sign that it was all meant to be and when they didn't even stay 20 minutes before we had a call we could come home? Part of me was crushed. To me, 20 minutes said it wasn't for them.

Getting back home all I could see were all the little things I missed and should have done. My friend Melissa helped to put things in perspective for me. It was only the first showing. The house has only been on the market 4 days now. Someone will love it.

For the rest of the day, I am going to try and relax. I think I deserve it after the last few weeks. Tomorrow I will take another look and start over again ... fixing all the little things I now see. And in the meantime, THIS is my new mantra.

Summer summer summertime

I know.

I know.

I promise I have not disappeared.

I am pretty sure this is the craziest summer we have ever had. The boys and I try to hit the beach two times a week. Favorite place for all of us. When we are not at the beach? I am shuttling the Big Guy between PT, OT and other appointments ... and all three of the boys to swim lessons, wrestling and gymnastics.

I know, right?

And then there is work. I have 4 clients now! So exciting!

What have I forgotten. Oh yes, the realtor coming this week so we can start the process of finally getting this house on the market. Cleaning spree would be an understatement.

Last night we hit St. Mary's Feast. It was the first time since the boys were born that we were able to go at night, which was really exciting to them. Crazy late night, but it was so worth it to see the boys enjoy the fireworks.

This morning, I dropped the boys off at VBS. They won't be able to finish the entire week due to some appointments near the end, but I wanted them to get a few days in since they had so much fun last summer. Grabbed a coffee and it's time to get my social media - and my clean on.

Catch you all on the flip side.