Positivity

It may not be Thankful Thursday, but I feel like it's overdue around here. Laura tagged me on Facebook to list 3 positives a day for an entire week. Something about the chaos in my life lately makes it seem a little daunting.

But we can totally use some positivity around here so here we go.

I am so thankful for my kickass friends. The ones I can call when everything feels like everything is breaking down. The ones who remind me that there is always something to be thankful for. The ones who tell me I need to meet them at the gym because I will feel better. The ones that I can kick back with on the lake - or at the beach - at their house - or at a pig roast with ... and just be.

I'm thankful for amazing sunsets, and time spent with my boys. All 4 of them.

I'm thankful for Al being on vacation this week. It doesn't even matter that we aren't going away this time around. The little day trips and just spending time as a family (in-between looking at houses) before school starts is perfect enough.

I'm thankful that the boys get to spend days like these with family.

I'm thankful we live so close to the water, because it's part of what keeps me going.

I'm thankful that we are able to surprise the boys with their first trip to Disney in just a matter of weeks. The countdown is in full effect (unbeknownst to the kids).

For all this and more, I am thankful. And a big thank you to Laura for reminding me that there is always something to be positive about. I tell the boys that all the time - but sometimes I don't always remember it for myself.

Thankful Thursday and Boston

Thankful Thursday! Changing it up a little today because there are some things I feel like I need to say first. It has been a week since I posted last. I actually have a few posts in the can ready to go, but was waiting for different reasons. Monday morning I got a post written about the boys and the dog but then Boston happened and it didn't feel right.

In fact, nothing has felt right since then.

It took such a toll. Born and raised in Rhode Island, a piece of my heart has always belonged to Boston - especially with what we have been doing with the boys lately. Red Sox, Fanueil Hall, The Freedom Trail, the North End ... Al and I used to love spending entire weekends there. Something about living in New England, having everything so close, you feel a part of it all. The morning of the Marathon I debated on taking the boys down. I felt braver after all of our recent traveling and thought I could do it OK without Al (who was at work). I then started to think about how much I hate crazy crowds and decided we should just skip. Plus I had work to do. Maybe next year I decided.

I took a break from work and the boys and I met Al on his lunch break, then we were back home again. From my laptop, with the Bunny Bee next to me, I caught a blurb online about a possible bombing at the Marathon. Could not be. I couldn't turn on the news so I started asking my girlfriends what they heard. Once I realized just how serious it was, I put the boys in front of a DVD so they wouldn't see anything by accident and turned on the TV in my room. I was horrified by what I saw. And sick to my stomach. Blinking back tears all I could think was that I had almost taken my kids.

The girls and I were glued to our laptops talking while watching the reports, all of us in disbelief. I was IM'ing Al. This just was.not.happening.

But it was.

While we managed to keep any knowledge of Sandy Hook from our kids, we weren't so lucky with the Marathon coverage. I shielded them from the TV reports, we didn't talk about it in front of them, but I forgot all about radio coverage. (They boys go to sleep with their radios on at night... during Sandy Hook I remembered to put on Cd's... not this time.) I didn't know they knew a thing until we were sitting at the Rhode Island Blood Center the next day. They asked why so many people were donating blood. I simply said that there were lots of people who needed some and they asked people to come in and help.

It wasn't until we were in the truck on the way home that they asked about it again - and mentioned that they had 'heard things' on the radio about people getting hurt badly at a race. I struggled with what to say. I told them I hadn't wanted to talk about it, that I didn't want them to be scared of anything. I told them at the Marathon someone exploded some things (I could not say 'bomb' to my little kids) and lots of people got hurt. A few died. Mommy donated blood to help the people who got hurt get better.

They nodded their heads. I explained that this does not happen all the time and again, I didn't want them to be scared. That they could ask me anything. They told me they would not ever be scared, because whoever did that was the 'baddest person ever' and once the police catch him no one will ever do bad things like that again because he will be in prison forever.

My heart.

We went into Dunkin Donuts and right at their eye level sat the stack of newspapers with the photos from the day before splashed across them. The Bunny Bee's mouth opened. I just grabbed him and moved him along. I don't want you to look at those things I told them. I don't want you to watch it on TV either. Promise me that if you are changing channels and see something you change it right away. Disney, Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network only - do you hear me? Again they nodded. I hate that I even have to talk to them like this. The Big Guy often turns on the news (we have had chats about this) because he likes to see them do the weather. I explained that I do not want them talking about this at school because we wouldn't want to scare kids who may not know or understand.

And I made it my mission to make sure the boys got their mind off all of it. Easier said then done. They have talked about it daily. They want to know if all the people are better and if they have caught the bad guy. All I can say is they are all getting better and they think they will have the bad guy soon.

Yesterday we went to the beach. Today we had a family day. I still can't wrap my head around Boston and I don't think I ever will. I am running my first 5K in a year next weekend and the thought of the boys at the finish line scares me. But I know that that is no way to live. They are excited to come watch and watch they will.

I know this post doesn't exactly fit into the usual Thankful Thursday, but trust me when I say I am beyond thankful for everything that I have ... this week has really hit that home. I am thankful that we were not at the Marathon on Monday and that my kids don't have the images of being there and the panic in their heads. I am thankful that my babies are not scared, and that they still believe there are not more people out there in the world who would do things like this (when the rest of us sadly know different). I am thankful I can hug my husband and boys. I am thankful for April beach days.

I am thankful for crazy kids. Chaos as usual. An insane puppy. Every last bit of it.

And even if we are technically Rhode Islanders, I still consider us Boston Strong.

I am thankful for it all.

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday! Joining Joanna and the girls linking up with what we are thankful for this week.

This week I am thankful for:

more frequent trips to Boston - sometimes in Al's car with the heated seats - and the iPad in the backseat to occupy the boys on the ride back home so no one revolts.

my brother who gets a shoutout this week for agreeing to be Al's backup and my partner in crime if I end up needing one at a second's notice. Because only he could make an over an hour drive from where he lives in CT to where we are in less than 20 minutes.

how amazing the twins are at memorizing things quickly. Crazy to me.

what a great big brother the Big Guy is being as he has been helping the twins this week.

spring! It doesn't even matter that there is still snow on the ground (OK it so does)... but I am just thrilled that warmer weather has to be on the way. Eventually.

being able to just get in the car and drive by some water. So lucky to be so close by.

getting the Bunny Bee back at school after missing a day this week. Credit to Jen for making me go get Gaia Elderberry syrup and Buddy Bear chewable probiotics for the boys. They don't thank you - but I sure do. Worked a miracle so far.


What are you thankful for this week?

Thankful Thursday

Keeping it short and sweet as I link up with Joanna from Baby Gators Den this Thankful Thursday. This week I'm thankful for:

heat and hot showers... it has been beyond freezing out this week and stepping outside I realize how grateful I am to be able to go back in where it is warm.

my father in law having a smooth heart surgery earlier in the week. We are glad he is home and can focus on getting better.

the boys getting healthy. We started the week with all three home from school and will end the week (hopefully) with all three back in. Today we just had one straggler at home. Can't say I have minded the extra cuddles though.

how things can fall into place sometimes. The week started out with some pretty horrible news, only to end with something pretty good.

What are you thankful for this week?

Thankful Thursday

Linking up with my girl Joanna at Baby Gators Den because it's Thursday y'all! Last week was rough as you all know... this week?  A little bit better.  Easier to find things to be thankful for.

This week I am thankful:

that I got to spend a little time with my uncle and cousin from Colorado before they flew back home (even if the reason they were here was sad).

that I have got to see my grandmother the day after my grandfather's service. All I want to do is go to her house and park my butt on her couch... but for now I'm trying to give her some time. I was so happy to see her.

that I am about to pick up another social media client (can't give details yet but they will come).

for apple cinnamon water. Yes I know how random that is. Apples and a cinnamon stick in a giant batch of ice water in the fridge. It is getting me through the week as I cut down my coffee a little and try my best to do away with soda... which I'm still working on.

that the Big Guy's headaches earlier in the week did not end up turning into him spiking a temperature (which is how it goes with him). Also thankful that he and the Doodle Bop seem to be doing better cold wise (minus whoever had the barky cough last night) and that the Bunny Bee is still healthy.

for being able to watch all three boys get on the ice twice a week. (Freezing cold aside, I think I might have just been MADE to be a hockey mom.) LOVE watching them go and I am beyond proud seeing how far the Big Guy has come with his balance. It is hard to watch his brothers out skate him, but that kid is holding his own and it is wonderful to see.

for a great Physical Therapy evaluation at Hasbro today, as well as a great neurologist appointment. They are impressed with how the Big Guy is finally hopping and skipping ... and our neurologist called him 'my miracle kid' which brought tears to my eyes. The Big Guy may not get the weight of it, but I certainly do. No botox surgery in the immediate future needed. (If only I could make him see he is doing so well because of the exercise, constant PT and sports...) Still calling today a win.

What are you thankful for this week?

Struggling to still be Thankful

Finding it hard to find the good on this Thankful Thursday like I promised. On the way home from the wake last night for my friend's father, my own father called me. My grandfather was not doing well. Having just picked up the boys from my sister in law, they heard everything I said. And listened to me cry.

There was no getting around it. At home I sat the boys down and we had a talk about how Opa would soon be going to Heaven. The twins were really sad, but it was the Big Guy who fell apart. He was begging me to do something to help him stay here longer. It broke my heart that he cried himself to sleep. I barely slept last night. I kept waiting for him to wake back up and need me.

My dad called me first thing this morning to let me know that my grandfather had passed last night. I broke it to the boys as they got up one by one. My cousin called me and we had a long talk. Then it was back to getting the boys out the door to take the Big Guy to school. I almost didn't send him ... given how upset he had been the night before ... but I hoped it would take his mind off things being with his friends. I was thrilled to hear from his teacher that it did.

Today happened to be my day to volunteer in Kindergarten. I was putting packets together for the teacher as I hear the Doodle Bop loudly tell some friends that his Opa died.  In the moment it took me to turn around the Bunny Bee had chimed in and it felt like the entire class was listening. I was mouthing I'm sorry! to their teacher and trying to tell the boys we could talk about it at home. Their teacher was wonderful. She let them talk about it a little and handed me a children's book she happened to have in class to take home for the boys to read. I was so grateful. We have Dog Heaven at home (which is a big favorite), but nothing about someone passing away - and this being a book about a grandparent was just what they needed.

Just as I was starting to feel relaxed, I heard the Doodle Bop tell another friend that they were making his Opa ashes and putting him into little boxes called urns. Not exactly what I'd said. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. I distracted him with something and that was that.

After school we came home and read the book together. The boys had me pull up some photos. This one is their favorite. The thing about this photo right here... I don't know how to feel about it. It is the last photo I have of the boys and my grandparents together.

Labor Day weekend. My grandfather seemed totally fine and yet before they left the house I had this nagging feeling I still can not explain. I actually had the thought that I needed a photo because I would never get another one. Which shocked me even then. Of course there will be more photos I told myself. I took the photo, hugged my grandparents and wondered why I even had that thought.

A week or two later my phone rang while I was at the Big Guy's soccer practice. My grandfather had a major heart attack. And you know the rest. He fought for months ... until last night when it was all just too much. The boys did not get to see him again and this is the last photo of them. I still can't completely wrap my head around that one.

This may not be the Thankful Thursday post I had in mind, but there are things I am thankful for today. I am thankful that I had my grandfather for 35 years. Even if he hated that I loved Kurt Cobain back when I was 16 (and totally let me have it in no uncertain terms). I am thankful that he supported me, told me he was proud of my writing and got to know my kids. I am thankful that my boys got to have a Great Grandfather that they loved and are old enough to remember always. And lastly I am thankful that he is now at peace ... even if it isn't how I wanted things to turn out.

It is going to be so hard to say goodbye.

Thankful Thursday (yes I know it's Friday)

Thankful Thursday should have been yesterday. Sadly I have not blogged in days. 

Where have I been? It started with me getting really sick the day I came home from New Orleans (which I have yet to blog about as well). Two doctors visits and another trip to the treatment center and I am finally feeling so much better. Once I was only halfway recovered we launched into the final countdown for Christmas. From the Big Guy's 7th birthday, Lasalette, Edaville Railroad, finishing shopping and attending Christmas celebrations time literally flew by and I barely had time to give my blog a look.

Posting will get regular again as I cover Disney on Ice, put up an overdue giveaway and just get back to blogging our life. It was eating at me I didn't put up a Thankful Thursday yesterday so here it is today. Hope you all don't mind.

Here is what I am thankful for...

- getting better and finally being able to function again. And a huge thanks to my husband for trying to hold everything down when I was out of commission.

- being able to go on the twins very first field trip. I wanted so badly to take a photo of their smiling little faces on their first school bus ride but once they got around their other kindergarten friends they were too cool for that sort of thing. Of course. I am still super thankful that the Doodle Bop had a great experience because he had been afraid of getting on the bus before the trip.

- my oldest baby turning 7 last Friday. That in itself deserves a blog post but for once I have no words. Look at this face. SEVEN!

- taking the trip to Lasalette as is our December tradition ... even if it was spur of the moment and the coldest night we have had by far ... prompting the kids to ask to run through the lights in under 20 minutes so they could get back in the car and go home. The oohs and aahs between the shivers were still worth it.

- hitting up Edaville Railroad (with a special shout out to Wicked Deals for the half price tickets making it all possible). I had been as a kid but had no actual memory of the place. It was cold that night too but the boys had the best time and the lights were pretty.

- celebrating Christmas with my boys. I had a bit of a hard time because it wasn't quite tradition as usual this year and some special people were missing, but I loved every moment of watching the boys get excited. 

 

 

Even the part where the Doodle Bop cried going to bed Christmas night as he realized it was 'all over'. Cuteness.

- my husband home on vacation this week. It feels nice to be able to spend the time with all four of my guys.

- getting out to the Rhody Blogger dinner last night. Love my girls.

What are you thankful for?

Thankful Thursday

Linking up with Joanna this Thanksgiving for Thankful Thursday, but with a little bit of a twist. 

If you read my weekly Thankful Thursdays, I write about what I was thankful for that past week.  The other day I read a post from Nirasha (also known as Mommy Niri) about her village ... how we can't do everything in our life alone and about the people who make a difference in our lives. I thought I would take a page from her and talk about a few people that I am thankful for.


Lianne: My partner in crime and girls nights out.

I am so thankful that Michael brought her into our lives back in college. It didn't take us long to bond and she gets me - always has. Teary eyed calls, vent sessions ... we may not officially be family, but she's family none the less. Godmother to my boys. Witness to most of my klutzy spills from my high heels. She takes me to palm readings and I have made her my permanent date to blogging stuff. Did I mention she got me to drink Gin and Tonics?


Jen: My blogging and all things social media BFF.

What would I have done without any of my Rhody bloggers... I am so thankful for all of them... and in them, I found Jen. We got to know each other when we were on the Santa's Hideout mom advisory panel and got closer from there. I can bounce anything off of her and get an honest opinion. She shares my love of sometimes snark. Road trip to NYC and roomies at BlogHer. She got me to go to a Hookah bar and shares my love of red wine. Love that I found her through this great group of girls. 


Julie: My multiple mama sidekick.

We may see each other nearly every day for weeks on end and talk on the phone five times a day, only to hit a few months where we barely have time to catch up for a few moments or get the kids together... but it doesn't matter. No one else gets what it is like to have 3 little ones in the span of a year and a half. Our oldest now both 6 and our twins are all 5. Three girls for her, three boys for me.  Instant bond no matter how much time passes.


Kerri: My sassy tell it like it is cousin.

And I mean that in a nice way. I can always count on her to give it to me straight. And she is so much more than my cousin really, because I consider her a close friend too. We may have had years when we were little that we didn't grow up together, but I think we have more than made up for that since we were teenagers. And it is because of her that I met Julie. We go weeks without talking when life gets busy, months without seeing each other from time to time, but I would be there for her in a heartbeat.


Al: My Rock.

I am beyond blessed to have him in my life.  Not only because he gave me my 3 beautiful boys (making our house a little unofficial frat house as we say), but because he has been more than my best friend since we were teenagers.  16 feels like a lifetime ago and while I thought I was oh so grown up then, I can now look back and realize we sort of grew up together.  The way he supports my writing career ... tells me without hesitation to go on that next press trip while he takes care of the boys ... and reminds me how far I have come when I am doubting myself... I love this man more each and every day.


So tell me... who is in your village?  Who are you thankful for?

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday

Something new I'm trying here, thanks to my good friend Joanna.  I know I needed the reminder to be thankful for what we do have - regardless of what is going on in our lives.  I have been in and out of a funk for the last few weeks and I know it has showed.  I loved Joanna's reminder to count our blessings.

Here's what I am thankful for this week:

*a husband who is home on vacation this week - even if it happens to be a clean the house/walk the kids to and from school/stay cation.
*my Rhody Blogger friends.  A bunch of us got together (with wine) and had a craft night.  We made aprons (stop the world, I used a sewing machine!) and magnets and it was so much fun.
*getting my first official client this week!
*the Big Guy having his first school field trip, bus ride included...and loving every minute of it.
*the Doodle Bop getting dressed for bed - complete with snow boots.  Just because.
*watching the Bunny Bee talk with his hands (trust me it will make you smile).
*knowing that Al and I will be able to finally take the boys to the hospital this weekend to visit my grandfather who I miss very much.
*5 year olds who still need to cuddle in bed with me after a bad dream.

What are you thankful for?

Where I've been

Crazy few weeks. 

Who am I kidding. Its always crazy and chaotic. 

As you can see from my lack of posting though, I sort of fell off the horse for awhile. That week that Julie was in the hospital, thinking the worst...not knowing she would actually get released cancer free and with an actual diagnosis... it was kind of hard to come down from. Things were OK again, but it didn't actually feel like that. And the Big Guy was sick...and then the twins got sick. And during all of that I tried to start a new diet and I was just beyond miserable.

Trying to balance two blogs, the kids, school, work, the Big Guy's weekly physical therapy he was fighting me on again, swim and baseball? I was beyond drained. I felt like I had so many things to blog about but I just could not bring myself to do any of it. I was going through the motions each day, doing the absolute minimum of what needed to be done and it was all I had. Oh yeah, and two full weeks of on and off migraines that seemed to come out of nowhere. 

And I can't forget injuries! The Doodle Bop and the Bunny Bee took apart their hockey net outside this week and as the Bunny Bee used a piece of the PVC piping as a periscope, the Doodle Bop thought it would be hysterical to smack it into his brother's eye. Close call let me tell you. I still can't believe he didn't need stitches - or damage his eye.

The photo does NOT do it justice. Trust.


I knew I had to make a change but I just couldn't seem to actually DO something about it.

Even now, I can't tell you just what it was, but I felt the change this weekend. (Which I am sure had a little something to do with the sun and finally much warmer weather.) Friday night I was down for the count with another migraine and I couldn't really function. Saturday morning I woke up to find it was actually gone. 

We took the boys to Cranston's annual Family Safety Day and they had such a great time. New bike helmets and water bottles... and they got to meet police, fire fighters and paramedics. In the afternoon the boys and I met Julie and the girls at Oakland Beach to enjoy some sun. I can't tell you the last time the kids got to really play, it has been about 2 months (and they ask almost daily when they can play). 

That night Al and I took the boys shopping at Old Navy for some summer stuff and they left totally happy with a few new shirts each. (Yaay for Gap gift cards that can be used at Old Navy that I forgot about ... from 2007 that still worked... coupons and sale items! It was like a giant FREE shopping haul!)

Today we spent time at Al's parents house to celebrate Ana's 27th birthday tomorrow, then went to the Big Guy's baseball game. Giant entourage for that kid. There were 9 of us! Al's parents, sister, my mom, her friend the boys call Nana Lyndia, Al, the twins and I.

And the Big Guy did so well he was given a game ball at the end by his coach for 'crushing that ball'. The boys are now outside in the yard playing with a giant bucket of water and squirt guns.

I guess I have to say it's been a really great weekend. (And 2 days headache free now. Crossing my fingers!) I think I'm starting to lose some weight so that rocks. And next weekend one of my oldest and dearest friends is getting married and I'm so excited to be there. For now I am trying to get out of this funk, get back to regular postings on both blogs, and be thankful for things.

Like this:

Did I mention I was that cool mom at practice this week who let her kids get soaking wet in puddles?  While all the other parents freaked out?  (One even changed her kid before practice started after he got wet.)  I mean, come on!  They were going to get dirty anyway!

                                                                              See???

Horrible lighting but I love that it is a photo of the eight of us, with the sun streaming through.

And things like this make me melt.  I love that they all love each other.  And they make quite the gang of kids out in public.

Thankful

Feeling very thankful this weekend.

Got to spend some extra family time with my husband and the kids.  Had a wonderful Thanksgiving that included watching the Macy's Day Parade on TV with the kids, hitting up part of the local East/West football game and not one - but Two - Thanksgiving dinners.  First at my grandparents house (complete with over 14 cousins where the twins tried to run the show at the kids table), then another at Al's parents house afterwards.

That night the boys had their annual sleepover while Al and I went home to scour the Black Friday ads and spend the next morning shop shop shopping.  Love our little tradition.  We avoided the midnight openings in favor of sleep and didn't venture out till after 4am.  Perfect choice.  Still managed to get most of what we were looking for and at the same time avoided the crowds.  Capped off the morning with a late breakfast and a nap before bringing the kids back home.

Last night we played the Just Dance video games with the kids and watched a movie too.  Today was more low key, Al had to work during the day - but pizza the kids helped Al make is now in the oven and tomorrow we are surprising the boys with tickets to the Phineas and Ferb live show at the PPAC.  (Al won a pair a few months back.)  The boys have been wanting to go and have NO IDEA what's to come.

Feeling very blessed right now.

Wordless Wednesday: Thanksgiving Thanks

The Big Guy came home today and proudly showed off his Thanksgiving outfit from Kindergarten.

Adorable.

But the back?  Was even better.

Daddy.