Throwback Thursday

Christmas morning 2009. The twins were just about 18 months old (the age the Big Guy was when they were born!), and the Big Guy had just turned 3 a few days prior.
Top left is the boys checking out their brand new play kitchen/BBQ grill set. The Big Guy going through his stocking is next to that. On the bottom is the Doodle Bop crying his eyes out because I had the nerve to take the wrapper OFF his pop so he could eat it. (Clearly Mommy ruined it.) And the Bunny Bee is opening a present.
Can't believe how much they have grown in just a few years.

In pieces

Hitting that rut again. I stop by here every day, look around, open up a new post to start writing ... but nothing comes. It drives me crazy. I know I have so much to say ... but still nothing comes.

The week leading up to Thanksgiving it started hitting me. My Grandfather is gone and holidays will never again be the same. Much like the transition we made when I was a teenager and my Great Grandmother passed. And the transition we made again when Al's Grandmother passed. Families start to go their own way for so many reasons.

This change though? Really happened an entire year ago. After his heart attack in the fall, everything changed then. But it didn't seem permanent at the time. We weren't celebrating holidays together, he was spending months in the hospital, but it was not forever. It was just until he got better.

He passed away in January.

Instead of doing things together as a big family, we all do our own thing in pieces. And it isn't the same. Part of me would just like to take the kids away somewhere, make a new holiday tradition and not even be here. That isn't happening this year though.

My Grandmother in Florida had a heart attack just after Thanksgiving. The boys have been drawing her pictures to put in the mail and I wish we were closer so we could visit.

I wish I were more excited for Christmas, but right now I'm just not feeling it anymore. We didn't put the lights up outside the house this year ... I didn't even think we'd still be in this house for this Christmas ... and because of the giant dog in the house only the top half of the tree can be decorated. It's almost funny in a way.

We told the boys that next year the dog will be old enough where we should be able to decorate the entire tree ... and not have to leave all the decorations they love to play with on the top few shelves of the book case that are too high for them. Each time I move them to a lower shelf I find them right back in the dog's mouth. When he gets determined enough, he can reach higher than the kids.

Right now I just do not have the time - or the energy - to fight him for each piece. When the boys were toddlers we put the Superyard (gate) around the tree. Can't do that to keep the dog away.

I have to put my game face back on for the boys. The Yay it's Christmas! one. They are excited about so many things. When I dropped the boys at school this morning, the Bunny Bee told everyone in line that there were just 14 days left till Christmas! I hadn't even realized it.

And before those 14 days are up, we have a few more wrestling tournaments, a photo shoot, parties, the Big Guy's 8th birthday (someone hold me because this is not happening) and the movie comes out. It's also hitting me today that none of this movie business even happened until after my Grandfather passed. How is that possible? The auditions, the back and forth to Boston, filming ... and now the final product. He's been gone for all of it. Realizing that sort of takes my breath away.

So this is where I am today. Knowing that there is always so much to be thankful for ... but still having a hard time anyway. Damn writing is cathartic. A piece of me has known all of this the entire time, but until I sat here to put it all down I don't think I fully realized part of what has been bothering me.

Maybe I'll be back with a Wordless Wednesday photo later today, or a Throwback Thursday tomorrow. It might be slow going the next few days around here (but certainly not for a lack of things to do). I will get back to blogging like I always do.

Giving in to Christmas before Thanksgiving

It's official. I have given in to all things Christmas before Thanksgiving.

Which is completely off my regular schedule.

For me? Black Friday is the Christmas kick off. The day I usually start decorating. It didn't help this year that the day after Halloween this year some local stations started playing round the clock Christmas music. The boys were all.over.that. Just try to change the Christmas music and you will have 3 small boys telling you to put it right back on now Mommy! In all honesty though, I'm not even minding it.

The holiday pj's and the bathrobes have been pulled out for weeks. Buddy the Elf happened to show up a few days early. Perched himself on the top of the book shelf with the Transformers.

Last night we let the boys start their Christmas lists. With mugs of hot chocolate by request.

And today? I completely gave in. After the boys went to school, I went downstairs and brought up This.

Just one box so far. Who knows how many more I have in the cedar closet. At least 5 or 6? I really had to think about why I have been so resistant to hop on board and decorate everything a few weeks early. Last night I realized why.

It wasn't in the plan. Here is not where I thought we would be this Christmas. In my mind, we would have said goodbye to this house well before Thanksgiving even and settled into our new home with more than enough time to decorate. This is where I remind myself again that things will happen - whether or not it is on the time table I want - it will still happen.

So today I will surprise the kids and slowly start decorating the house. And we'll call it our last Christmas here. Because I'm still holding the vision and trusting the process. Cappy doesn't seem to want to move off the couch anyway.

Thankful Thursday (yes I know it's Friday)

Thankful Thursday should have been yesterday. Sadly I have not blogged in days. 

Where have I been? It started with me getting really sick the day I came home from New Orleans (which I have yet to blog about as well). Two doctors visits and another trip to the treatment center and I am finally feeling so much better. Once I was only halfway recovered we launched into the final countdown for Christmas. From the Big Guy's 7th birthday, Lasalette, Edaville Railroad, finishing shopping and attending Christmas celebrations time literally flew by and I barely had time to give my blog a look.

Posting will get regular again as I cover Disney on Ice, put up an overdue giveaway and just get back to blogging our life. It was eating at me I didn't put up a Thankful Thursday yesterday so here it is today. Hope you all don't mind.

Here is what I am thankful for...

- getting better and finally being able to function again. And a huge thanks to my husband for trying to hold everything down when I was out of commission.

- being able to go on the twins very first field trip. I wanted so badly to take a photo of their smiling little faces on their first school bus ride but once they got around their other kindergarten friends they were too cool for that sort of thing. Of course. I am still super thankful that the Doodle Bop had a great experience because he had been afraid of getting on the bus before the trip.

- my oldest baby turning 7 last Friday. That in itself deserves a blog post but for once I have no words. Look at this face. SEVEN!

- taking the trip to Lasalette as is our December tradition ... even if it was spur of the moment and the coldest night we have had by far ... prompting the kids to ask to run through the lights in under 20 minutes so they could get back in the car and go home. The oohs and aahs between the shivers were still worth it.

- hitting up Edaville Railroad (with a special shout out to Wicked Deals for the half price tickets making it all possible). I had been as a kid but had no actual memory of the place. It was cold that night too but the boys had the best time and the lights were pretty.

- celebrating Christmas with my boys. I had a bit of a hard time because it wasn't quite tradition as usual this year and some special people were missing, but I loved every moment of watching the boys get excited. 

 

 

Even the part where the Doodle Bop cried going to bed Christmas night as he realized it was 'all over'. Cuteness.

- my husband home on vacation this week. It feels nice to be able to spend the time with all four of my guys.

- getting out to the Rhody Blogger dinner last night. Love my girls.

What are you thankful for?

The Heart of Christmas - Giveaway!

Tomorrow is officially December and you know what that means. 

Bring on the Christmas movies!

I love them and so do my kids! We already have the ABC Family channel Christmas movie schedule on the refrigerator so I remember to DVR the ones they most want to see (that happen to come on too late). And then there are all the ones (for me) that come on Lifetime... and more. Love my Christmas movies!

A few nights ago, after we put the boys to bed for the night, my husband and I sat down and watched The Heart of Christmas. I didn't know much about it, just that Candace Cameron Bure (remember DJ from Full House?) was in it. I just heard Christmas movie and I was in.

While this is totally a family movie, I was thrilled we waited until the boys had gone to bed. We were not too far in before I had to grab the box of tissues. The movie is both heartbreaking, yet hopeful. The story alternates between two families. One falling apart because a couple has lost sight of what is important and the wife Megan spends too much time working; and another family faced with losing their child and their quest to give him one last Christmas celebration.

This movie spoke to me, not only as a mom, but as a blogger. The mother of the family facing losing their child, Julie, blogs her son's illness. "It will change your life" a neighbor tells Megan as she hands her a card with Julie's blog on it.

And it does.

 

Julie's blog is based on a true story that gained national attention. Austin and Julie Locke are devastated to learn that their young son Dax has been diagnosed with cancer. When they decide to give Dax one last Christmas (in October), their community learns the truth of what’s going on in their home. A truly moving outpouring of care and support occurs that people really need to see to believe.

 

And trust me, you will need those tissues I mentioned.

 

To kick off December, I am giving away 5 DVD copies of The Heart of Christmas.  Enter by leaving a comment on this post, telling me the name of one of your favorite Christmas movies you watch yearly.  (I have a feeling this one will be added to your must be seen category.)

 

 

 

*Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post, opinions are all my own.  I watched a screening of this movie online.  Entries for the DVD giveaway must be in the United States only.

 

Roxx Trixx Stadium totally rocks!

Did you know there are only like 91 days left till Christmas? 

Oh my God I know.  I know!  Has it really been almost a year already?

We may still be a good month away from Halloween but the Thanksgiving things are already sitting next to the Halloween things in the stores and its just a matter of time till Christmas/Hanukkah decorations join them.  I have been debating on whether or not to put up a kids toy gift guide this year, but am still undecided.  Today however, I will be kicking off the 3 month countdown till Christmas (shall we call it that?) with not one - but three - toy reviews that my kids are currently loving.  And I think your kids will too.

I'm starting today with the Roxx Trixx Stadium from Imperial Toy.

While it says ages 7+, my guys are definitely under the intended age group at 5 and 6, but they are able to play it just fine. Once my husband and I went over the game rules with them a few times they were able to play on their own - and they love it so much they play daily. Which is huge for my kids.  For the older kids, there are ways to play to make the game harder so it stays challenging for everyone.

My guys are not strong readers yet, but the cards also have a picture of what to do along with the written words. I feel like it has gotten them trying to read a little more and the game gets them thinking as they have to use their problem solving skills to complete the task. They love the holographic effect and are obsessed with the different images on the Roxx - some of the favorites so far are creepy flies on pizza, a skull, a robot and an alien.



All they have talked about is what other Roxx they want for Christmas. Any game that gets my 3 boys playing together and laughing is awesome in my book, and I like that my husband and I can sit down and play it with the boys.

Psst... I have to say, it is actually fun for adults too!  I'm kind of feeling like I need to trek this with me to the next kid-less party I hit ... my kids won't miss it after they are asleep for the night, right? 

*Disclosure: We were given the Roxx Trixx Stadium for free, in exchange for our honest review.  Opinions are all my own.

An unexpected Christmas miracle

For the last few days the boys have all been insisting it would snow on Christmas. 

Since the only snow we have seen in Rhode Island happened to hit prior to Halloween crazy enough, I reminded them more than a few times that it most likely would not be snowing on Christmas this year.  It hasn't been cold enough.

Santa happened to bring the boys 3 new inflatable snow tubes (among other fun things) which I thought practically guaranteed no snow anytime soon.  The years where we have not been so prepared?  Blizzards and big snow totals all winter. 

Because of course.

The boys were playing with their new drum set in the basement when Al noticed something white outside the window.  We called to the boys, I grabbed the camera and out we went.  In pajamas, sneakers ... without jackets.  The Big Guy yelled See?! I told you it would snow! and all the boys cheered.

I snapped these photos as fast as I could.

It may have only lasted about 15 minutes, but it was Everything to the boys.  Their own Christmas miracle.

Silver linings

This morning was terrible and my day was only getting worse. 

Over scheduled from the get go, but I thought I could make it all work.  I was so.wrong.

Out of the house by 7:30am to make it through traffic to the Big Guy's physical therapy for 8am.  And of course, no traffic.  We got there early - only for it to start 10 minutes late.

From there we had 15 minutes to make it down the road to the hospital parking garage and get checked in for the Big Guy's appointment with the pediatric orthopedist... which should have started 15 minutes after school would have.  And those appointments only go about 10 minutes anyway so the boys would not be too late to school.

Riight.  That appointment didn't start for an hour and 15 minutes AFTER the scheduled time.  And we got to spend almost the whole time in the packed waiting room next to a small child with severe bronchitis who coughed with her mouth wide open.  I wanted to dip the kids in sanitizer.  Things ran so late, I had to IM Al to call the boys out from school.  By the time we made it home there was only a half hour left of the morning.

Fed the boys an early lunch and 30 minutes later we were out the door again for a doctors appointment for me this time... which also ran over an hour late before they saw me.  Cut to boys crying in the waiting room.

Did I mention during all of this I had a headache - migraine actually - so bad I could barely see to drive, never mind tolerate any noises?  Nothing.helped.

I thought the day could only get worse from there.... but then the day was mostly over, wasn't it.

I've been telling the boys for days that after dinner tonight they would get a bag to put all broken toys in.  Then they would get another bag for good toys to donate to kids who don't have as much - since not only is the Big Guy's birthday coming but so is Christmas and they will get lots of new things.  We need to make room.

They have donated several times in the past, they just didn't know it. 

This year I decided they were big enough and I wanted to see what happened if I let them make the decisions.  (Last week they decided since they no longer use the Little People and their millions of accessories much anymore they wanted to give it to Danika.  I was so proud - but sad too.)  End of an era with those little people.  The Bunny Bee used to spend hours on the floor playing with them.

While the broken toys barely filled the bottom of a bag (and I know there are so many more), I was so impressed with the toys to donate. FOUR FULL TRASH BAGS of toys!  OK, not full full, but full for 4 and 5 year olds.  They just kept coming up and asking for a new bag as they handed me a filled one.  Then I started to hear the boys talking to the toys...

We'll miss you

Never forget us

We love you

       We will never ever ever forget you

I'm gonna miss my toys                                                                    

Bye bye dinosaur I'll never forget you

Maybe the new people will play with you lots

It started to break my heart for a moment...but then I realized they were still making all the decisions themselves.  And together.  The Big Guy would say 'What about this one' and they would all have to agree to keep or to donate.  WITHOUT my help!

So proud of my boys.  Definite silver lining of my day.